Posts tagged children
Letting Go

I tried to let go with your diagnosis of ADHD and no impulse control
I let go a little each time you lied to me over and over 
I let go some more when you moved out and I knew in my heart it would not be in your best interest
I let go even more when you went through substance abuse treatment and I begged you to tell me what was hurting you so much

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The commute to work was the grieving window that gray day. Cram in all the feelings, regrets and doubts while tailgating, jockeying lanes for faster passing, hurtling somewhere I didn’t even want to go. It felt really important during that particular drive to catalogue my grievances with myself, with the universe. I should have done more, less, better, faster, more often.

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Are You Worried About Her Weight?

“Are you worried about her weight?” My mother ask me as we are sitting at the children’s museum. “I know its a sensitive subject.” 

What she means is, I am worried about her weight and you should be too. You should do something about your four year old’s body before she deals with being fat. It’s better to be thin. Thin people are happier people and it only gets harder as she gets older. That’s what she means. 

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Wash Tub Turtle

Las Vegas laundromat about two Miles off the strip on Spring Mountain road. Dig through pockets for quarters before throwing the clothes in with the suds. Sneak two PBRs in tinted bags and pull out a card deck. Look around at drab mothers with Nevada skin that sags like a frown.

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