Posts in Body
Yes, We Can

The doctor bounced into the waiting room after knocking two times on the door. “What is going on?” she said, sitting on a rolling metal stool, balancing her laptop on her lap. “I am having sharp, shooting pains in my right arm”, I tell her. “I lifted my granddaughter over my back wall and that’s when the pain started, so I think I may have pulled a muscle or something. But now I am getting a discolored rash on my arm.”
   She put her laptop on the counter behind her and asked me to pull my sleeve down so she could take a look.  As soon as she spotted the blistering rash, she said, “Oh, yeah, you have shingles.” 

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Maternity Sweatpants

Yoga and writing classes and meetings are an attempt to ward off the depression I feel threatening at the edges and margins of each moment. Still, it finds inroads. I wore my pre-pregnancy jeans today and the waistband was too tight on the incision. It felt ok, endurable, until I wore Teddy in the baby carrier and then the whole area felt numb and reminded me so much of the raw aching throb of early Cesarean, the wound where you were taken out of me and how empty I felt and bereft of even a birth story, my vagina unused, circumvented by a scar. I touched your soft face briefly in the OR, and then you were gone for four days. An unendurable separation but I endured it. 

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