Posts in Addiction

I’m no different from a marathon runner. I’ve been training for quite some time now, my dedication without falter, my discipline, impeccable. I can run the distance like the best of them, fueled by my hatred for you.
Fifteen years of hating, unable to sit and catch my breath, knowing that can’t happen until you, yourself, cross the finish line--your ashes scattered onto the grass, carried by ants to form shelter or reinforce an existing nest.
The only selfless act you’ll likely ever do.

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This morning I am listening to the sound of settling all around me.  Settling into this new space with the large windows.  Settling into routines and where to hang the keys and what day to pull out the trash cans. Acknowledging the little buds of roots emerging underneath this new life.

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Inconvenient Parties

On days like today we are forced to face our own addiction; to open the bathroom mirror holding bottles we have long forgotten, for pain that we no longer suffer from.
I'm addicted to running but you can't bottle the adrenaline from "fight or flight."

You can't roll that fleeting moment inside of paper and hold it to your lips until it burns to ash, so instead, you light another and another and another.

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