It is late.

It is late, it is dark, and I am once again searching for my purpose, my place.

It is time for me to discover what I want from life but once again, I fall short. Do I have love? Yes. Do I still want more? Yes.

I graduated not long ago—not long ago as in I feel like a newborn child, swaddled, and being handed over to their mother. But a tender embrace does not greet me. Instead, the silent and calculating ideals of the outside world surround me.

I constantly wonder what I am meant to do. I constantly wonder what I desire. I need to BE inspired and I need to aspire to BE. I need something other than my reality, other than the here and now because in this moment I am weightless in the water. Motionless, floating, and wondering what else might be out there.

It is light, it is joy. I am once again surrounded by my people and the shine they give. There is no question where my purpose rests with them. There is no void within myself—I am the newborn child in a sheltered embrace. Is it possible to feel such immense wholeness amidst unabridged chaos and question? I am lost in so many ways but steady and found in others.

“You have time” they say.

It is now, it is the time to live now, but all anyone seems to say is “you have time.”

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