Blue

Daughter of a rocket scientist, I always felt my brain was constrained, that it was harder for me to remember, to focus. So I beat a biology degree into my head with index cards and then worked with computers all my life, hoping, always hoping, that I could keep hidden the fraud of me.

I envied those around me who could remember so much and I thought it would be a release from prison for me to be able to know all the things they knew. I imagined that one day I would be arrested for a spy, like in a World War II movie, because I do not know anything about sports or cars or beer. I only know there are Jaguars and then there is everything else.

This week during a visit, my father talked about his life, his time at MIT, his service in Korea. He was pulled out of Korea because when I was born at a hospital in St. Louis, I was a blue baby and I required an additional week in the hospital. Oxygen. It is all about oxygen. If only I’d pinked up faster, I could have been so much more.

Although I was born in St. Louis, I spent my high school and college years in FL because my father was transferred there to work on the space program. I moved to Richmond, VA after I graduated and have lived here every since.