1st World Anxiety Sucks
1st world anxiety sucks
woke up this morning to a heat pump on the blink,
house cool, not cold.
suddenly i feel anxious.
snow forecast two days from now, temperatures
will drop below freezing, yet in my town, neither north
nor south, snow in the forecast may never actually fall
yet outside, winter stomps its foot, birds and squirrels gather
seeds thrown on the deck, cats chirp from the window,
ensconced in their warm kitchen.
did i mention my house has not one, but two heat pumps?
did i mention that a third heating system warms another room?
and provisions. . .i should go to the store for bread, something
i rarely eat and milk, something i no longer drink, but these things
are learned from childhood, before heat pumps or snow plows
or 25 cubic feet of solid stainless steel refrigerator space or 4-wheel
drive vehicles, when school closings were announced on the radio,
a time when i put my boots on the floor furnace to dry, gloves
too, and heard the familiar wet sizzle on the red hot burner
that causes accidental burns to small children, I later learned,
a time before parents needed to be reminded to watch small
children, a time before children knew that home could be unsafe.
my home is safe. fire alarms and extinguishers, thankfully
never used, the 21st century heat pump repaired for 98 dollars
plus cost of labor. i drive home with milk and bread I don’t need.
I pass the homeless man i don’t know.
the temperature slides ever closer to freezing.
three sources of heat hum unconcerned at my house