Feline Frenzy

Being raised an only child has taught me two things. First, people are terrible. Secondly, animals can become your best friend. Before I could even look over the kitchen sink or properly work a microwave I somehow became the in house animal doctor. My outdoor cat would come home with cuts that appeared to have been attained during the Trojan War and I would always manage to get the wound cleaned and healed without a noticeable scar. In return I received all the nonjudgmental love and socialization any awkward only child deserves. 

These moments sparked me to somehow be willing to go way past the expectation bar when it came to treating my animals. This trait somehow cascaded down into me bathing cats. Yes cats. The feline friend known to scratch, seethe, and squirm at the very sight of water. 

One day I became exhausted from battling my cat ( in which I was not on the winning side) who was not so convinced as I was that a bath which contained several conditioners , fur detangles , and flea killers was good for his health. So I procrastinated and waited for my father to arrive home so we could go purchase frontline. Once I returned from school I opened the door and my corneas questioned reality as it tried to identify the troll that was in front of me. This troll was Panama City water brown with a stench to match it’s appearance. Before I could run the other way the troll…it…it...meowed at me! Before I could inquire what apocalyptic chain of events occurred to cause this incident my mother shuffled her feet from the bathroom and casually said “Hi Karl, I know you didn’t want to wash him so don’t worry I put skin so soft on his fur.” 
My verbal response to her statement and irrational thinking I have blacked out due to an overdose of anger. All I recall are two vivid images.

The first being my cat returned to normal. And the second of hundreds of Band-Aids plastered to my mother’s arms after washing the toxins off of my cat.

Moral of this story is to get a goldfish.



I am a Virginia Tech student and just like the others I pray to graduate on time. College is expensive.