When There Was Time

“I remember you.” That’s what I said out loud when I happened upon an old photo of myself. At first glance I saw the two dimensional image of a young woman posing contemplatively, looking out across a wide river. I checked her out. It was a very nice picture. I approved.

Then I looked into her eyes and felt her. For some brief moments, I was her again. I felt where she was in her life and what she was going through. She’s hopeful about her future. There have been disappointments, sure; along with curve balls, bad choices and unintended consequences. Becoming an adult can be quite the disruptive eye-opener. But there is plenty of time to make the kind of life she wants, right? 

What does she want? What should she want? She isn’t clear. Society’s constructs puzzle her - trouble her often. She thinks she will be able to make sense of it all eventually. And so she is positive most of the time and happy. There is plenty of time, after all.

She feels energized by her times - civil rights, feminism, the gentle influx of eastern philosophies bringing new perspectives. The world is changing and she feels like a part of it.

But there’s a sadness, too. She knows of the limitations she faces and the barriers. And she knows they are within herself. She does not know what to do next. But there is plenty of time.