Fear or Faith
Right now I am facing a big fear. Am I good enough? Will I get chastised? Will there be repercussions later in the day, week, month or year? Will I be able to go through the entire event? Will I be able to keep it together or will I fall apart and lose my shit, cry, scream, and wail in front of strangers? Or, am I in a safe place? Am I with friends I have not met yet? Am I in a place of nurturing and encouragement? Will I be transformed when I leave? Will I become something I was always created to be? Will my life change for the better? Will I finally be rid of another brick in my baggage that has kept me prisoner and bound to beliefs that no longer serve me? Will I look in the mirror tomorrow and see a new woman? A woman more whole, more complete, full of more joy and peace?
I cannot the answers to all of these questions now. I will trust that the process will make me a different person. Even though it frightens me I know I am never alone. I can trust God didn’t bring me here to fail. I know my family of faith is with me in spirit. I know this is a part of helping me be everything I was created to be. My choice now is fear or faith.