Crazy Exes

Relationships. Everyone over the age of twenty has probably been in at least one. I’ve been in seven myself and they were all crazy. I seem to only be able to attract crazy girls. One girl who we shall call Katie, broke up with me over text. No rhyme, no reason, just over and done. Tossed out like a piece of garbage.

Fast Forward a week and she texts me saying she wants to get back together. Noticing a pattern of cowardice yet? I replied, “Sure, if you tell me why you broke up with me in the first place?” Because if I had screwed up I wanted to know so I could fix it. Five seconds go by and I get a reply.


Those letters hit me like a sack of bricks. Most of you know that IDK is Text-ese “I Don’t Know,” if not, you just learned. My reply was also quick, “No.” Because I had no idea when IDK would happen again and I didn’t feel like another sudden heartbreak. From that point on she set about trying to make my life a living hell. Only ended up making herself look stupid in the process.

Three more failed relationships later and here I am single again. I wonder, is it something I do that makes them crazy or only able to attract crazy? Am I cursed? To put it in Katie’s eloquent way, IDK.

The good thing that came out of all of these crappy relationships is that I now know what a relationship is not supposed to look like. I still don’t know what the good kind of crazy looks. But to the future Mrs. Hayes, hopefully we meet soon.

St. Peters, Missouri

I'm a Martial Artist and a Writer. I hope to be a published novelist on par with James Patterson and Christopher Paolini.