Posts in Death

I really didn't know what to do about her birthday.  Should I mention it and see if the kids remember?  Should I make a cake?  No clue.  So I asked them.  Grace said, "why don't we get pizza and then go to the bookstore and each pick out a book for Mommy's birthday?"  But then she kind of ruined it by saying "and then when Grammie dies we can get a book and when Poppy dies we can get a book and when Ripley (the dog) dies we can get a book."  Calvin thought it was a good idea as long as his could be Power Rangers.  So that's what we did.

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Eight Minutes

Eight minutes…eight minutes…eight minutes and he was gone.
He is obviously more present dead than alive.
Solid, stoic, and oppressively kind, he was a young man of few words and gone before the smoke from the gun settled into the grassy lawn.
It was eight minutes from the time he stepped out of his brother’s car (singing, laughing, and joking) to the moment his bloody head hit the floor.

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I Just Can't Bear to Sing

I haven’t been able to sing a song at church since my dad died. Not one hymn, worship song, nothing has been sung aloud in over 3 years. There were Sundays when I would attempt to sing and tears would flow so fast and heavy that I would nervously wipe them away enough to get to the bathroom and avoid the rest of worship time. I grew to hate this part of church. I would go to the bathroom, pretend the baby needed something, get more water. Anything but having to stand there and bottle my emotions why others praised the lord with their voice.

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Very Afraid

The writing prompt is to write of a time when I was very afraid.  What shall I choose?  When did I start feeling afraid as a child?  When did I realize that something was not right, not safe, with my mother?  Is a "time when I was very afraid" my whole life?  No, because I'm no longer very afraid.  Or maybe I am, actually!  I have certainly found ways to cope with the fear that started early on!  Very afraid.. that word "very" in front of afraid causes me to pause.  What qualifies as very afraid?

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