Note to Self: Stay at Home

I never know why I agree to go to parties. I generally don't have much if any fun. Perhaps because I have a need like anyone else to connect to others, sometimes, but I learned long ago I prefer my own company.

I remember going to my new friend's New Year's party, in particular. I am not much of a drinker so I stuck with water and soda. The only person that that I knew was my friend and she kept ditching me. Also no one there was particularly friendly, and I am painstakingly shy around people I don't know along with having social anxiety.

I really would have given anything to just become invisible, sink into the floor, or have had the ability to walk through walls just to escape.

I like people, but on my own terms, and I think that's okay. Being around people constantly is an emotionally and physically taxing endeavor for me. I need time to get away and recharge.

Also, I like being alone. So to me parties just seem a waste of time because I could be doing something more productive unless of course it's a wedding, graduation party, birthday, or anniversary because these things deserve to be celebrated and there's generally people there that I know.

My time is meaningful to me and worthwhile. I don't want to lose precious time in a life already too short to occupy things that make me unhappy.

Note to self: don't go to the next party. Stay at home and be happy in your pajamas instead.

 

Meadville, PA

Linda M. Crate is a writer whose works have been published in numerous magazines and anthologies both online and in print. She is the author of the Magic Series, the forthcoming Phoenix Tears, and three published chapbooks: A Mermaid Crashing Into Dawn, Less Than A Man, and If Tomorrow Never Comes. You can find her skulking about here: https://www.facebook.com/Linda-M-Crate-129813357119547/.