But Am I Really "Relationship" People?
I have this theory that there are really two types of people in the world ... and yes, I know that there are many more types of people in the world than two, but bear with me ... people who are "relationship" people, and people who are, well, not.
Take my brother, for example. The kid has had girlfriends his whole life. He's been in relationships, and long term ones at that, for as long as I can remember. This is his life, this coupled existence that I like to think of as the quintesential American dream. He's married now, and he lives in the suburbs, and he'll probably have 2.5 kids, and the fence around their yard isn't a white picket fence but really they're in a starter home so I'm going to give him time. You have to have something to strive for, after all.
(Also, don't get me wrong. I LOVE my brother AND his wife. They are fantastic people, and I'm thrilled to have lucked out so incredibly with such an amazing family.)
I? I am perpetually single, historically NOT relationship people. The relationship people in my life always tell me that it's probably just because I haven't met the right person, but I just...I have this sneaking suspicion that that's not it. I entertain the possibilities, sure, but I always find myself vaguely annoyed with dating, with having another person who is so central in my life that I have to check in and have to make plans and can't do (put simply) whatever I want whenever I want. Every time I break it off, I feel unburdened, free again, like I can breathe.
I keep sticking my toe in the relationship water, keep thinking in the back of my head that maybe what the relationship people tell me is true and I haven't liked it because it hasn't been the right person. It's the way all the fairy tales end, after all... and THEY lived happily ever after. (Except when they don't.) And I just...I just can't see myself playing in that world.
Maybe my story is meant to be that SHE lived happily ever after.