Healing

So last night, I went to bed very tired, but almost so tired I could not sleep for all the weekend's information and action and thinking and feeling the need to heal so thoroughly. I got up around 11pm to go to the bathroom and get a drink of water and try to claim a clean slate, telling myself that in order to heal I needed to sleep. My 11 year old thinker was still awake. She'd had a hard time getting to bed that night. I was not really interested in lying with her or tickling her which she usually wants. But she asked me to tell her the thing about the 'big night sky' which is something I made up when she was little and a thinker even then, her eyes wide open, telling me she could not shut them. Such a cutie! Thinkin, thinkin, thinkin, we'd say. And I would lie next to her and close her eyes and ask her to think about the Big night sky / with ALL the stars in it / so many you can't count all of them / and they are all there / just for you -- and she would sometimes say to me, "and you too!" And then I would say "I love you, my sweet / smart / beautiful / fun / funny / loving / lovable / oh so loved / adorable / creative / intelligent / fantastic one. You are just the greatest!" O, 5 years younger, revised this and added 'super-duper' in there when he was able to talk, because I used to say this to him at night too and often still do. It felt good to lie there and whisper it to her. She shut her eyes as I began to speak. I kissed her forehead and she said, "I love you, Mommy." I thanked her for asking me to say it to her. She smiled. I needed it too.

 

Richmond, VA