I Am Thankful (Even When I'm Not)

I Am Thankful. No, really. I am. Even when I sigh and worry and fuss and hurry around like a robot chicken with my head cut off. I'm so freaking thankful. 

I am thankful for my past. My confusing, can't-let-go-of, cause of worry and dwelling past that I'm sure has taught me more than I realize and maybe someday I really will let the meaner parts of it go. 

I am thankful for my present. My present that I need to learn how to live in. Really. Right now. Just live right here for one moment. 

(Come on, let's pause, you do it too.)

Okay, read on... 

I am thankful for my husband. My husband who I love and hate and accidentally hurt with unfiltered words and actions - and nag and hug and experience life with - every bit of life right now and hopefully forever. 

I am thankful for my family. For my family who I don't always agree with but always will love and forgive and complain about and then call when I need their expertise on situations that only they can help me with.

I am thankful for my friends. My friends who I miss. Who I've lost because of time or life changes or disagreements or real loss. My friends who I text every day - yes text - such a crap form of communication that helps me feel their presence as I hack away at all the thoughts and tasks that pop up each day.

I am thankful for my job. My 8-5, florescent lights in an old musty building job. For my colleagues who live this corporate world together and really want to help the people we work with and for and love our brand and love our customers and want to pump creativity into this gray-walled building that we must find comfort in day after day. 

I am thankful for yoga. For yoga that has taught me to shut my eyes and breathe and literally "peace out" from the world for at least one damn minute. For yoga that has taught me that strength comes from so many places and so many people. For yoga that has introduced me to families of volunteers and students and teachers who truly believe that if we all come together and breathe and practice that our efforts may make just the slightest positive change in our community and our world.

I am thankful to start teaching yoga. To share experiences with people who are facing hurdles - no matter how small - and I am thankful for the hope to give these students even a sliver of the help and warmth that the teachers and students I have met have shared with their classes. 

I am thankful for my future. My unpredictable future that I want a crystal ball for. My future that may last a second or 100 years. My future that scares the shit out of me, but always brings me hope and excitement.

I am really, really thankful.

 

Richmond, VA