Counting Is Hard

Going from my private, Christian college with a dry campus, to the campus of Virginia Tech is a culture shock, but that’s just what I did. One Saturday morning I woke up to a text from my best friend’s mother asking if I wanted her to come pick me up from my school to go visit her son Karl at his school, Virginia Tech. My roommate would always leave on the weekends to go to her girlfriend’s house, so I had nothing to do, so why not? The two hour ride there included her talking mad crap about her ex-husband and a few other things that I can now use as blackmail on Karl. When we got there, Karl showed us around, even though there were students everywhere waiting for the T-Pain concert to start. 

Later that night Karl introduced me to his friend Courtney who lives in the area. We decided to go out and see a movie at the new IMAX Theater while his mom slept in his dorm room. After seeing “Get Hard” we spent a couple hours in the arcade, as any group of college students would. They started telling me of this all night pizza place that was near campus called “Benny’s”. When we got there I could tell that 95 percent of the customers were drunk. As we were waiting in line this girl came up to us and cut between me and Courtney. This girl was clearly one shot away from being black-out drunk. She was using Courtney as a human crutch and patting me on the back saying “It’ll all be okay” after I had turned to Karl complaining about her. We eventually made it to the counter and the drunk girl ordered three slices and I ordered one. The guy behind the counter put all her slices in a stack and basically told her to go away, but no. She started to pick up my slice and put it with her three even though the guy had just told her in belonged to me. The girl in her drunken stupor kept putting her nasty fingers all over my food, until the guy took it from her and told her in the most fed-up, sarcastic voice, “I know, counting is hard, isn’t it?”

 

 Ida only likes restaurants with obese people because she knows the food will be good.