I seem to sense that my late friend, Helen, is with me, when I am driving around, when I eat her favorite fruit salad with walnuts ("brain food") that my husband used to make for her, when I eat my 3-5 prunes, a day, when I wear the little necklace that was given to me, that was hers. She tells me to take my time, to be gentle, to be kind and nice, to not be so "in a hurry" and impatient. She tells me "practice what you preach" and reminds me to exercise. When I am cleaning houses, I hear her telling me "Margaret, you are a MESS!" She also reminds me to stop being such a "neat-nik" and "chillax". I hear her tell me to be kinder and less defensive around my husband, "because he is a wonderful man, honey!"
Last night, I wore her little denim blue painting smock, when I went to bed. Later that night, I woke up from a dream that she was in. I cannot remember anything about it except that she was my age, (looking like she did in the photos that she showed me in times when she was energetic, happy, in her home on Whittington Drive, gardening, and enjoying her life and her family and friends in the house that was surrounded by azaleas and flowers that her husband planted.) I was riding with her to pick up her first grandson, Raymond, who was a child, again. She mentioned to me how much she enjoyed driving around again, in her Buick, and that it is nice that she can drive me around and how much she is enjoying my company, again. She asked me how my life is now. I updated her about what has been going on with me. She told me that she was glad that I was taking better care of myself and that I am not coughing anymore. She told me that she is glad I got some extra "Vitamin D3" earlier that day. I told her that I thought of her when I want to buy the Hershey Bar with Almonds, but decided to put it back on the shelf, because I need to watch what I eat. (I enjoy good food. We shared that in common.) I told her that I attended a dinner last Saturday and the cuisine was Greek and I won the 50/50 raffle. She smiled and said, "Buy yourself something nice, Honey!" Then, I moved my face to touch on her smooth cheeks and kissed and hugged her. I felt her strong right arm around my neck and her hand patting my shoulder. She felt so comforting and it was lovely. When I woke up, I caught a whiff of her "Oil of Olay".
Margaret is a Korean-American adoptee, a daughter, a sister, a wife, an aunt, a cousin, and a care-giver for the elderly and people with disabilities. She writes to resolve feelings about those people in her family and those who touch and impact her life.