Of Dichotomy

This is the only clear visual I have of the meadow:

Him standing in a slightly lonely lane opposite it; thinking, as usual. 

He was a man of very few words, and each time he spoke, he tried to make as much sense as possible. It was as if he hoarded all the information he could while he was silent to let it out of his system in one go, at the right time. 

The wind blew mildly, touching his hair the way he would have liked her to touch him. 


***

I didn’t know much of her side of the story, but I knew he didn’t want her to go. He wanted her to be there, sit alongside him, and think. 

He loved thinking. He loved the idea of dissolving in silence. 

***

His parents told me he would speak a lot when he was a child. This made me wonder why he wouldn’t speak so much now. Whatever the reason was, I would never know it. He would never make it privy to someone like me. 

Even though I wasn’t a stranger, I wasn’t an important part of his life. And he was the kind of man who oscillated between extremes. You either mattered the world to him or you didn’t at all. That was what made me feel sorry for L. She had lost a friend, a teacher, a lover. 

I remember how he once told me could do anything for her. He had said that looking at the horizon, his hands behind his head. I was sure of it. I trusted him. I knew he would live up to his promise.

He had left soon after, or at least that’s what L told everyone after they parted ways. I’d definitely doubted it. I knew he wasn’t the one who had left, but even if he had, he wouldn’t have let her feel that. He had this special knack of letting go of a person without allowing them to feel for once that he had left them. 

And that’s the reason why she doesn’t think about him that much. 

And that’s the reason he has to make do with just the slight breeze touching his hair, caressing his face and all that. 

He stands there, and this is the only visual I have of him.

Trying to reconcile himself to this act of letting go, yet not.

 

India

Trivarna Hariharan is an author whose work appears in various literary magazines, zines and journals such as Textploit, Writers Asylum, Literature Studio, TheOriginalVanGoghsEarAnthology, A Penny for a Thought, Orange Almonds, The Bougainvillea Lit Road Magazine and elsewhere. She serves as the editor in chief at Inklette, and is the Head Officer for Journalism at Redefy. Her first poetry collection "Home and Other Places", is being published by Nivasini Publishers, and is slated for a 2016 release. 

She believes strongly in the power of art to bring about a change.