I am the cautionary tale.
The wheelchair thief
in the hospital room
from the steel railed bed,
and my father dying.
I am the cautionary tale.
Susan was pissed. Her eyes were wide, and she was talking so fast Ricky Ricardo couldn't keep up. The more I stared, the faster she spoke, elevating to a shriek! "He called me, 'girl'!" I'm looking at her in disbelief. So…what? Was that really a big deal? I'm mean seriously, we all know she's not a girl. He was just being friendly. No. Big. Deal.Read More
There, do you see it?"
Elloise lay hidden amongst the backdrop of green, a calico pink nose and swishing tail perched with the layers. Her nose perks and gives two gentle, alert sniffs. A small bird arrives just out of reach, singing a call to its tribe.
I like my smile, okay with my hair. My breasts thanked me for not judging their size, or lack of, and not depending on them to attract or define my beauty or femininity. But when I reached my center, my abs, my butt, my legs, I should not have been surprised to hear the sorrow in their laments. Why do you hate us?Read More
I ran from sadness like you would run from a burning house. It was perilous and could kill me from its intensity. Anger and fear were the guardians of my ragged heart, and they worked for much of my life to keep me from being consumed by the sadness that threatened to choke me.
We put feathers in each other’s hair in my basement. My basement is still crawling with them. Feathers swim on the air filter’s breeze, landing on and launching off of my mandala rug.
It was a silly thing, that time we found ourselves connected. It was silly because it was true. You loved me and I loved you and we loved in the midst of a sand-covered desert, a space that was almost completely sand. We were best friends for a while, chicks hatching out of best friend eggs, and then we weren’t.
This morning I heard from my mom. “I have some really sad news,” she said on the phone line. “Mr. Strange has died. He fell of the roof cleaning the gutters in preparation for the storm.” He was my volleyball coach for most of high school and his two daughters are close to my age. Suddenly my heart was taken back to the moment I found out about my dad. I felt heavy and burdened with the road ahead for his sweet daughters. What a tremendous sadness that will follow them has they begin to navigate life without this man that loved them so deeply and cared for all of us so well.Read More
I am pretty, educated, upper middle class, and successful. I am also 52, almost divorced from an abusive partner, have lost $2 million dollars, and a few years ago I wanted to put a pillow over my children’s faces to suffocate them. All of this is true. And I’ve never told anyone about the latter desire. It’s too grotesque. And it’s what enables me look at those headlines, “monster mother drowns children in bathtub” differently than most.Read More
Where there used to voices
there is silence. An unmoving
Where there used to be a handshake
only a smear. It’s hard to know
which road to take.
ME: I’m hungry - is there anything to eat in the fridge?
HIM: I don't know - you want me to look?
ME: Uh huh.
HIM: Hey, can you come here and look at this?
ME: Look at what?