I recently canceled a speaking engagement because I was just. too. overwhelmed. I was torn between guilt and relief until one of the organizers sent me a card: I am just one Wonder Woman, read the inside. Not all of them. And them my own name. Apparently this was something I had said when she was a student in my class! Sometimes we have to relearn our own wisdom because we have FORGOTTEN IT COMPLETELY. It’s still disappointing to not only not be ALL the Wonder Women but to have a broken lasso and a downed plane, to boot. To be more like a child than a superhero. To need to slow down, nurture, play, breathe and heal.
In the last month I’ve had to cancel panels, class visits, coffee dates and even a retreat that for many months I’d been planning to attend. I’ve decided to quit teaching my night class and I’ve begun to experience a deeper drawing in. My parents are better, but on a precarious plateau between deep trenches and treacherous valleys. I’ve had some mental, emotional and physical health issues of my own to attend to. I’ve learned that if I’m not deeply centered on the inside I will be a disaster on the out.
It’s humbling to not be able do everything or even most of the things. It’s humbling to not be able to save the world or the day, to treat myself as tenderly as I would the child in the picture. It’s humbling to just be human.