• My 10
    • Your 10
    • About 10
  • Submit 10
    • Nine Lives: A Life in 10 Minutes Anthology
    • Halfway House for Writers
    • Workshops
    • Summer Camp for Adults!
    • Individual Sessions with Valley
    • Surrender Your Weapons
    • Editing with Claire and Elizabeth
    • Guest Teacher Workshops
    • Workshops with Sadeqa Johnson
    • ReStory with Erin Mahone
    • Visual Journaling with Susan Singer
  • Events!
  • Open Mic Reading Series!
Menu

Life in 10 Minutes

Street Address
City, State, Zip
Phone Number

Your Custom Text Here

Life in 10 Minutes

  • Writing 10
    • My 10
    • Your 10
    • About 10
  • Submit 10
  • Books
    • Nine Lives: A Life in 10 Minutes Anthology
    • Halfway House for Writers
  • Write With Us
    • Workshops
    • Summer Camp for Adults!
    • Individual Sessions with Valley
    • Surrender Your Weapons
    • Editing with Claire and Elizabeth
    • Guest Teacher Workshops
    • Workshops with Sadeqa Johnson
    • ReStory with Erin Mahone
    • Visual Journaling with Susan Singer
  • Events!
  • Open Mic Reading Series!
my10.jpg

My 10

The In-Between

May 27, 2016 Valley Haggard
 Image: stationery from Mongrel in Carytown

Image: stationery from Mongrel in Carytown

Right now I am trying to turn back into a human being fit for civil discourse. Lately, the minute I get home from a morning of teaching and meetings, I strip of my bra and earrings, take my hair down and climb into bed. Anything that must be reached had better be close. A cat climbs on top of me and a dog stretches out beside. The boy comes in to do his homework and positions himself so I can scratch his back. I stare at the ceiling, toss, turn, sleep, try to wind down from the wild excitement my mind manufactures. When my husband comes home, he joins us in bed. At some point, before I have to leave to teach again, I crawl out of bed to make dinner. 

"I feel like a feral animal," I say to my husband, hair and eyes wild.

"You look like one," he says back. 

I wonder what other people do during these hours, this in-between? In-between parts of the day, parts of a life. In-between knowing for sure and knowing for sure you don't know anything at all. That painful stretch of the heart in-between knowing what you want and actually getting it. Are other people able to do something productive? I can't even imagine. I have to shut it all down and out before I can take it in again.

Once upon a time I prided myself on not needing anything, not even a shower. Now I need yoga, meditation, 12 steps, 57 vitamins, journal writing, affirmations, god and a well-outfitted cave so I can function at all.  And I've had to step up my game lately because life has been stepping up her game, too. You want this? You want that? You'd better take care of yourself, girl, life says. Because, I'm going to need ALL OF YOU.

Sometimes self-care is asking for help, sometimes giving it. I make a point of showing up to talk to other people who need help at least once every single day. It makes me feel less crazy and alone. Sometimes I stop and take a bath or a morning walk past the grove of bamboo. Yesterday I took care of myself by leaning against my kitchen counter and eating 4 mini croissants in quick succession, 2 slathered with nutella and 2 with butter. It takes a lot of effort to care for a feral animal with changing needs and moods, a feral animal with both rough and tender skin.

The other day I lay down for a 10 minute meditation and took a 2 hour nap. When I woke up my husband was cleaning the shit out of our living room that doubles as his storage shed. It actually glistened. He'd swept enormous piles of dog hair into the trash and found a bin for everything. I decided to clean, too. I took the gorgeous, dead Mother's Day roses from the dining room table and threw them out the back door, but instead of complying, the rose petals scattered in arcs around me on the floor halfway between outside and in, where they were meant to go and where they weren't. Instead of sweeping them up I took a picture and then left them there. They were beautiful. 

 

 

 

← 15 years of married...THIS?What is marriage for, again? →

Subscribe

Sign up with your email address to receive Life in 10 workshops & updates!

We respect your privacy.

Thank you!
 Drop in and write for a while!  Fridays, 9-2. Free & open to the public.

Drop in and write for a while! 
Fridays, 9-2. Free & open to the public.

 Visit  Richmond Young Writers  for year round workshops and camps for young writers ages 9-17!

Visit Richmond Young Writers for year round workshops and camps for young writers ages 9-17!

 The Halfway House for Writers, available at   Chop Suey Books!

The Halfway House for Writers, available at Chop Suey Books!

  • Elizabeth Dylan (1)
  • Jay Calhoun (5)
  • Jocelyn Ulevicus (2)
  • Kristen W (1)
  • Leif Schroeder (1)
  • Stuart DuBreuil (4)
  • Adam Short (8)
  • Adele Castillo (2)
  • Aimee Ross (1)
  • Aletha Sangiray (1)
  • Alex Carrigan (2)
  • Alex Dandridge (15)
  • Alex Roach (1)
  • Alexandra Duckworth (7)
  • Alexandra Youmans (1)
  • Ali Goldstein (1)
  • Ali Torrence-Hale (4)
  • Alicia G. Navon (2)
  • Aliya Benabderrazak (2)
  • Allison Schutzer (1)
  • Alyssa Sorresso (1)
  • Alyssa Tyson (2)
  • Amanda Marsico (2)
  • Amanda Stephan (5)
  • Amanda Sue Creasey (4)
  • Amber Williams (1)
  • Amy Williams (1)
  • Angelica Fuse (2)
  • Angelina Meccariello (2)
  • Anjali Roka (6)
  • Anne Carle Carson (8)
  • Anne Wrinn (1)
  • Annie Farschon (1)
  • Anonymous (95)
  • Archita Mittra (2)
  • Ashley James (3)
  • Ashley Nolting (1)
  • Ashley Steineger (2)
  • Audrey Bobb (2)
  • Barbara Certo (1)
  • Becky Theuer (1)
  • Ben Lewis (2)
  • Beth Kinghorn (3)
  • Beth Stanford Tubb (2)
  • Billie Carroll (2)
  • Billie Southworth (3)
  • Bird Cox (1)
  • Black Liquid (1)
  • Bobby Hulme-Lippert (3)
  • Bridgette Schatz (1)
  • Brittney White (1)
  • Bronwen Chisholm (1)
  • Bryan Sutton (1)
  • Buddy Hensley (1)
  • C.S. Schmidt (2)
  • Camille Adams (3)
  • Carina Stopenski (1)
  • Carol Dowd-Forte (1)
  • Carolanne Wilson (3)
  • Carolina Lugo (1)
  • Caroline Hoover (2)
  • Carter Vance (1)
  • Cary White (1)
  • Cat Ennis Sears (1)
  • Cate Fitt (1)
  • Celeste Morela (1)
  • Chanel Earl (1)
  • Charles Aulino (1)
  • Charlotte Samuels (1)
  • Charlotte Sinclair (1)
  • Charmaine Dyson (1)
  • Chastity Hise (3)
  • Cheri Wolff (1)
  • Cheryl Redmond (1)
  • Chrissy Moe (1)
  • Christine Chapman (1)
  • Christine Mack (1)
  • Christine Stoddard (1)
  • Christy Garrison Guise (8)
  • Christy Jenkins (4)
  • Christy Schragal (2)
  • Christy Scott (1)
  • Cindy Andrews (1)
  • Cindy Cunningham (1)
  • Cindy L. (1)
  • Claire Chitty (2)
  • Claire Jun (1)
  • Claire Panak (2)
  • Claudia Brookman (4)
  • CN Barron (1)
  • Connie Biewald (1)
  • Courtney Allen (5)
  • Crystal Jensen (5)
  • Daipayan Nair (5)
  • Dakota Hayes (1)
  • Dana Walters (4)
  • Danii J (1)
  • Delfina H (1)
  • Denise Bennett (7)
  • Diana Thompson Vincelli (1)
  • Diane Mattingly (1)
  • Diane Yane (1)
  • Donna Joyce (6)
  • Dorothy Rice (6)
  • Ed Chavez (1)
  • Eliezer Sobel (1)
  • Elizabeth Anthony (1)
  • Elizabeth Ballou (1)
  • Elizabeth Boquet (1)
  • Elizabeth Farschon (14)
  • Elizabeth Ferris (1)
  • Elizabeth Gaucher (4)
  • Elizabeth Kuriakose (1)
  • Elizabeth Montgomery (1)
  • Emery C. Walters (1)
  • Emily Gambone (1)
  • Emily Pixley (1)
  • Emily Russell (2)
  • Emma Banks (2)
  • Emma Moser (1)
  • Erendira Ramirez-Ortega (1)
  • Erica Englehart (1)
  • Erin Levens (3)
  • Erin Mahone (1)
  • Evie Safran (4)
  • Eziorobo Gabriel (2)
  • Fatima-Ayan Hirsi (1)
  • Frances McDaniel (3)
  • Gail Giewont (2)
  • Garima Behal (2)
  • Georgia Leipold (1)
  • Georgina Coffey (1)
  • Grace Powers (1)
  • Grace Sherwood (1)
  • Grace Williams (1)
  • GRAVITY Stephens (1)
  • Greg Brown (1)
  • Gretchen Gales (12)
  • Gretchen Gales (1)
  • Guy Frank (1)
  • Gypsy Amrita Mack (1)
  • H.E.M. Gales (1)
  • Halle Edinboro (1)
  • Hannah Easop (2)
  • Hannah Scarlet (1)
  • Harry Kollatz Jr. (1)
  • Heather Rutherford (1)
  • Hena Sarkar (2)
  • HESH Haggard (1)
  • Hope Whitby (3)
  • HR Creel (3)
  • Ida Basilio (4)
  • Iris Madelyn (1)
  • Izzy Montgomery (5)
  • Izzy Noon (1)
  • J.Tyler Turpin (2)
  • Jacqueline Barbour (1)
  • Jane Connors (1)
  • Janice Leilani Smith (1)
  • Jay Tubb (1)
  • JD DeHart (12)
  • Jean White (2)
  • Jeannette Drake (4)
  • Jenna Fox (1)
  • Jennifer Boyd (1)
  • Jennifer Gregory (1)
  • Jennifer Hernandez (2)
  • Jennifer James (3)
  • Jennifer Jurlando (7)
  • Jennifer Shotwell (3)
  • Jere Kittle (6)
  • Jerry Long (6)
  • Jessica Kantrowitz (1)
  • Jessica Kendall Hankiewicz (5)
  • Jessica Thorne (1)
  • Joanell Serra (1)
  • Joanna Lee (7)
  • Joe Baumann (1)
  • Joel Morgan (1)
  • John Jeremiah (1)
  • John West (1)
  • Jon Stawarz (1)
  • Jordan Vrescak (15)
  • Joseph Elko (2)
  • Joseph McCormick (3)
  • Josephine Lee (2)
  • Josh Lefkowitz (2)
  • Joyce Carcaise (1)
  • Judy Melchiorre (10)
  • Juley Amica (1)
  • Julie Clayton (4)
  • Julie Linker (1)
  • Julz Suder (2)
  • Kanchan Chatterjee (1)
  • Kara Son (1)
  • Karen Kay Chappell (3)
  • Karl Stevenson (14)
  • Karla W. Stevenson (10)
  • Karla Williams (1)
  • Kate Amatuzzo (3)
  • Katherine Schuster (2)
  • Katherine Sullivan (1)
  • Kathy O'Bryan (1)
  • Katya Cummins (1)
  • Kim Drew Wright (1)
  • Kim Payne (1)
  • Kim Thipwalee Srimaphan (4)
  • Kim Usry (2)
  • Kimberlee Koehn (1)
  • Kris Prad (2)
  • Krishanna Spencer (3)
  • Kristen Suthers Rumrill (1)
  • Kristin Sancken (2)
  • Kristina Hamlett (5)
  • KT Golightly (1)
  • L. K. Boisineau (2)
  • La Belle Rouge (3)
  • Larry Thacker (1)
  • Laura Boswell (1)
  • Laura Cooper (1)
  • Laura Ingram (3)
  • Laura Miller (2)
  • Laura Widener (1)
  • Lauramarie Herrmann (3)
  • Lauren Brown (8)
  • Lea Marshall (1)
  • Lea McMahan (1)
  • Leah Mueller (1)
  • Leanne Burton (2)
  • Lee Hall (1)
  • Leighton Meyers (1)
  • Leslie Lytle (1)
  • Lily Osornio (1)
  • Linda DeLia (1)
  • Linda Laino (27)
  • Linda M. Crate (20)
  • Liz Wolfe (1)
  • Liza Kate Boisineau (1)
  • Lucy Hester (3)
  • Lucy Osornio (5)
  • Luke Rhodes (4)
  • Lydia Galvin (1)
  • Lynda Firth Raines (1)
  • Lynda Levy (1)
  • Madalyn Saunders (2)
  • Madeleine Jordan-Lord (1)
  • Madeleine McDonald (1)
  • Madelyn Treadwell (2)
  • Madhubrata Bhattacharyya (1)
  • Maggie Beck (1)
  • Margaret Dessypris Thomas (2)
  • Margaret Woody (16)
  • Maria Badillo (1)
  • Maria DePaul (1)
  • Marie Paul (1)
  • Marielle Beckers Siebers (1)
  • Marielle Siebers (4)
  • Marika Pickett (2)
  • Marilia Coutinho (1)
  • Marisella Veiga (1)
  • Mark Duran (1)
  • Mark Meier (4)
  • Marsha Owens (12)
  • Marta Rainer (1)
  • Mary Annie A V (3)
  • Mary Carroll-Hackett (1)
  • Mary Chandler (1)
  • Mary Jo McLaughlin (9)
  • Mattie Coll (1)
  • Maureen McSweeney (7)
  • Megan Wilson (5)
  • Melissa Face (6)
  • Melissa Grunow (2)
  • Melissa Hammack (4)
  • Melodic Rose (1)
  • Melvin Dowdy (4)
  • Michael Pyron (3)
  • Michael Rice (1)
  • Michelle Cale (4)
  • Michelle Lee (1)
  • Michelle Matthews (1)
  • Molly Korroch (1)
  • Molly Sperry (2)
  • Molly Todd (2)
  • Nan Ottenritter (2)
  • Nancy Smith (1)
  • Nicholas DeVivo (1)
  • Nicki Stein (2)
  • Nicole Miyashiro (1)
  • Nicole Parisi (1)
  • Nilesh Mondal (2)
  • Nora Vimala Pozzi (1)
  • Paige Fulton (2)
  • Paige Hooban (3)
  • Pamela Carcaise (1)
  • Pamela Gerber (12)
  • Patricia Edinboro (6)
  • Patty Smith (1)
  • Paul Voudouris (1)
  • Phillip Brooks (1)
  • Phoebe Guider (6)
  • R. J. Gales (1)
  • Rachel Becker (2)
  • Rachel Geffrey (1)
  • Rachel Ringgold (2)
  • Radhakrishnan Krishnan (1)
  • Rahne Alexander (1)
  • Rajani Radhakrishnan (3)
  • Raymond Ryan (2)
  • Rebecca Cater (1)
  • Reena Prasad (4)
  • Ren Martinez (2)
  • Rhonda Baril Coble (5)
  • Ridley Flock (1)
  • Riley Coffey (1)
  • Rin The Pencil Fairy (3)
  • Ritesh Khandelwal (1)
  • Roberta Oster Sachs (2)
  • Roslyn Frank (1)
  • Roslyn Wallace (1)
  • Russ Cope (2)
  • Ruth Deming (1)
  • Samuel McKenzie (1)
  • Sandy Strunk (2)
  • Sara Anderson (2)
  • Sara Berger (1)
  • Sarah Allen (5)
  • Sarah Baugher (1)
  • Sarah Heatwole (1)
  • Sarah McCall (1)
  • Sarah Miller (1)
  • Sarah Ochs (1)
  • Sarah Vedomske (3)
  • Sarah Vedomske (1)
  • Saroj Salelkar (1)
  • Saul Kaddish (1)
  • Sema Wray (3)
  • Shara Sinor (2)
  • Sharon Murphy (1)
  • Shayna Wilkins (4)
  • Shelby Obrecht (1)
  • Shelley Whidbee (1)
  • Sherry Hughes (1)
  • Shloka Shankar (4)
  • Shruti Goswami (1)
  • Shunmel Syau (1)
  • Sincere Reading (4)
  • Sonja Stoeckli (2)
  • Srishti Dutta Chowdhury (1)
  • Stefanie Cole (2)
  • Stephanie Hatton (1)
  • Stephanie Kline (1)
  • Stephanie Morgan (1)
  • Stephanie Scott (1)
  • Sudeep Adhikari (1)
  • Sunae Harket (4)
  • Susan Howson (1)
  • Susan Mahan (1)
  • Susan Montgomery (2)
  • Susan Singer (2)
  • Susanne Becker (4)
  • Suzanne Samuels (1)
  • Tara Armstrong (1)
  • Tasha Cortimilia (1)
  • Taylor Winters (2)
  • Tempest Brew (2)
  • Terese Robison (1)
  • Terri Jackson (1)
  • Theresa Kennedy (1)
  • Thérèse Hak-Kuhn (3)
  • Tiffany Porter (1)
  • Tim McCready (4)
  • Tom Jeter (4)
  • Tracey Jewell (1)
  • Tracy Lynch (1)
  • Trashmouth Brown (1)
  • Trivarna Hariharan (2)
  • Valerie Wu (2)
  • Valley McGrath (1)
  • Victoria McGovern (1)
  • Walter Andes (1)
  • Wayne Zespy (1)
  • Will Hardy (1)
  • William Fraker (5)
  • Wilson Engel 3rd (1)
  • Valley Haggard (138)
Write for us
 

Tags:

  • love
  • writing
  • family
  • memories
  • childhood
  • death
  • poem
  • loss
  • time
  • change
  • age
  • children
  • relationships
  • nature
  • youth
  • grief
  • funny
  • holidays
  • poetry
  • home
  • husbands
  • addiction
  • Jesus
  • Writing
  • co-dependent over-bearing worrywart mother
  • werewolf
  • finger maze
  • NA Conventions
  • Splinters and Nails
  • boys are human
  • Bang!
  • a little can't hurt
  • Love Was
  • addict/alcoholic/co-dependent
  • my mother
  • hallucinations
  • Hair
  • Feed it to Me
  • this is it
  • Broken glass in the alley
Summary Block
This is example content. Double-click here and select a page to feature its content. Learn more
Featured
Latest Article

Subscribe

Sign up with your email address to receive Life in 10 Minutes updates and workshops!

We respect your privacy.

Thank you!

Facebook       Twitter       Contact
Art by Mary Chiaramonte       Richmond Young Writers